


(Most) In All This World

by LemonScience33



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, F/M, Femlock, TJLC | The Johnlock Conspiracy, TJLC-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 09:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6652825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonScience33/pseuds/LemonScience33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Mark shoots Sherlock, and Sherlock nearly dies for real this time.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>In a dark hallway, he threatens to do it again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The lights go on, and Jane folds her collar down and rises to her feet. She tells Mark in a measured tone that if she sees him again, she’ll put a bullet between his eyes.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Most) In All This World

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking a lot about how the character dynamics of _Sherlock_ might change if Sherlock were a lesbian, John (Jane) were a bisexual woman, and Mary (Mark) were a cis man and thus 1) couldn't get pregnant and 2) would not be so easily underestimated by a female Sherlock. Plus, I just wanted to write some sweet pining femslash. So here you have it.
> 
> This fic unapologetically paints Mary (Mark) as the villain I think she is in canon, so please don't read if this bothers you.
> 
> A huge thank you to toxicsemicolon for stepping up to do a same-day beta and spending hours hammering this out with me in Google Docs. This story was only half as good before she got her hands on it! <3 Any remaining mistakes are my own!

There is a whorl of fine peach fuzz on Sherlock’s cheek, next to her ear, and Jane wants to kiss it.

Instead, she presses her lips together and goes back to her newspaper.

It’s not the first time she doesn’t do something she wants to do.

-

When a woman says that she joined the RAMC to heal people, no one asks her if she’s addicted to the adrenalin rush.

When a woman has lunch every day with her female officer commanding, no one accuses them of fraternizing.

When a woman is bleeding out and still keeps pressure on her OC’s wound, people think she’s a good medic. No one thinks she might be in love.

-

Jane is good at hiding her need for adrenalin. Sherlock, of course, immediately notices anyway.

Jane assumes she sees the rest of it, too.

“I consider myself married to my work,” Sherlock says.

-

Sherlock is splayed out over the sofa on her back. Her head is tilted back so that her neck is exposed and her short curls fall away from her face.

Jane’s fingers twitch. It’s not from irritation, and it’s not from lack of adrenalin.

“Bored,” Sherlock says, and Jane rolls her eyes and lets herself smile.

-

Later:

“Don’t be… dead,” Jane says.

-

Later:

“Just the two of us against the rest of the world,” Sherlock says, and Jane finally punches her.

-

In the train car, Sherlock can’t disarm the bomb.

Jane forgives her.

Jane braces herself.

Jane doesn’t die.

She’s too angry to speak, but Sherlock makes a tasteless joke about her own death, and Jane laughs instead, a little hysterically.

-

Jane has already forgiven Sherlock for everything she has ever done and everything she will ever do.

-

Sherlock teaches Jane to waltz at Baker Street, shades drawn against the afternoon sunlight. Jane can’t dance, but Sherlock can, and it’s too easy. Jane doesn’t so much as glance at Sherlock’s lips the entire time.

-

Sherlock catches the bouquet, and Mark jokes that she’ll be the next to wed.

Sherlock saves Jamie Sholto’s life, and Jane feels the weight of both attachments: one a distant memory and the other a simple fact of life.

Sherlock plays her waltz, makes a vow, and leaves the reception early. Jane shouldn’t miss her tonight of all nights, but she does.

-

In 221B, Sherlock kisses Ian, and Jane feels it against her own mouth.

In the CAM Global News building, Sherlock – always the maverick – proposes to him. Jane shouldn’t be surprised that it took a man to make Sherlock finally fall in love.

-

Actually, Jane was an idiot to think Sherlock was capable of falling in love. She shouldn’t be surprised that it was a ruse.

-

Mark shoots Sherlock, and Sherlock nearly dies for real this time.

In a dark hallway, he threatens to do it again.

The lights go on, and Jane folds her collar down and rises to her feet. She tells Mark in a measured tone that if she sees him again, she’ll put a bullet between his eyes.

-

At home, Jane reaches out and touches Sherlock’s shirt, just above where the bandage is.

“The two of us against the world,” Sherlock whispers, and Jane allows herself one shaky sob.

She’s surprised when Sherlock wraps tentative arms around her. She’s somehow less surprised when the paramedics show up and Sherlock informs them that she’s bleeding internally.

-

Weeks later, Sherlock is doing an experiment in the kitchen, and Jane is reading a newspaper at the table. It’s familiar.

Then Sherlock says, “I’m sorry,” and that isn’t familiar at all.

Jane looks up. “What for?”

Sherlock swallows. “You and Mark were happy.”

Jane sets down her tea. It appears that they’re finally going to talk about this, and trust Sherlock to bring it up in the strangest way. “Sherlock, he _shot_ you.”

“You loved him,” Sherlock counters.

“I suppose,” Jane says.

Sherlock raises her eyebrows as if to say, _See?_

“No, I don’t think that’s the point,” Jane says emphatically.

“I’m simply saying that I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d forgiven him.” Sherlock looks down at her hands. “You’ve forgiven me for far worse,” she says earnestly.

Jane cannot speak for a few seconds.

“Nothing you could ever do could be worse than what he did,” she says finally. “Nothing could be worse than losing you. For god’s sake,” she adds, “I would kill Mark every day for the rest of my life if it meant keeping you safe.”

Sherlock blinks at Jane, the way she did when Jane asked her to be maid of honor.

“Then, you mean to say,” Sherlock says finally, “that you... value my life over his?”

Jane opens her mouth. The newspaper crumples in her hands, so she drops it. “Sherlock,” she says slowly, “I mean to say that I will choose you every time.”

Sherlock stares. Frowns. Blinks.

Jane finally understands.

The room tilts.

Sherlock is the most observant woman in the world. A month after they met, Sherlock knew Jane better than anyone else had ever known her. Sherlock is supposed to know everything about Jane, but she doesn’t know the one thing that matters most.

Sherlock thinks she’s no better than Mark. Sherlock thinks Jane chose him over her.

Sherlock doesn’t know Jane loves her.

“Sherlock,” Jane chokes. She doesn’t remember standing up. Her mouth is dry, and her tongue feels like it takes up her entire mouth. She swallows and looks at Sherlock. “I mean to say,” she says softly, “that I’m in love with you.” Her gaze is steady, though her voice is not. “I mean to say that I love you more than I have ever loved or will ever love another human being.”

Sherlock closes her eyes, and Jane’s heart pounds in her chest.

Sherlock opens her eyes and blinks again, and this time there are tears.

Sherlock jumped off a building to save Jane’s life. Sherlock spent two years on the run, waiting to come home, only for Jane to reject her when she did. Sherlock planned Jane’s wedding and taught her to waltz and watched her marry Mark. Sherlock was ready to aid her own attempted murderer because she thought he made Jane happy. Through all of it, Sherlock had believed that Jane didn’t love her back.

Jane sobs. “God,” she says. She brushes her thumb over Sherlock’s cheekbone. “I can’t believe –” Jane slides a hand into Sherlock’s hair, and her heart lurches when Sherlock leans into the touch. “I’m so sorry.”

Sherlock lifts her hand and tentatively wraps it around Jane’s wrist. “I forgive you,” she whispers.

Jane kisses her. Sherlock inhales shakily against Jane’s lips, and then she moves her hands to Jane’s head, cradling it gently, and presses forward as Jane does.

“I love you,” Sherlock says, when they break apart. Jane laughs a little hysterically, brushing away tears.

“God,” she says. “I love you, too.” It’s easy, so easy after all this time.

Sherlock’s smile is the most wondrous thing Jane has ever seen.

They fall into giggles together against the kitchen counter, holding each other.

-

There is a whorl of fine peach fuzz on Sherlock’s cheek, next to her ear, and Jane wants to kiss it, so she does.

Sherlock smiles, and her fingers come up to rub the spot. “What was that for?”

“Always wanted to,” Jane says honestly, and Sherlock grins and drags her into her lap.


End file.
